The Whines and Whims of the Future Heiress

Dun. Dun. Dun.

2007-06-15T15:53:00.000+08:00

mood: t-i-r-e-d

listening to: Maneater by Nelly Furtado

I'm fuckin tired...I blame school. LMAO. And Nina hates us now so which makes things worse. The quartet now became the trio. *sigh* But on a lighter note, I saw TESSA again! I missed ya my bestest friend! Finally we can hang out again! See ya later when you'll introduce me to some cute guys you know...splendid. And see this?:

That's what happened to the Ramen I bought...haha poor Ramen. Dang, that thing was the spiciest thing ever! But nah...anything for my Korean Oppa's. LMAO. Ahhh...the things I do to be a korean. *sigh* Next post will be the pics from first day of class and Tessa-san and Shi-ne's reunion. Mwahaha! 'Til next post... ciao!

My Celeb Look-alikes

2007-05-18T14:16:00.000+08:00

http://www.myheritage.com

It's stupid, really...

2007-04-30T15:00:00.000+08:00

Oh crap...

I just realized how much of a frackin' fool I am.

Sucks, doesn't it?

Believe me... it does.

And I hate myself for it.

So do yourself a favor and follow my advice : "DON'T FALL IN-LOVE WITH YOUR BESTFRIEND."

Trust me... then you never have to go through all the pain that I'm experiencing...

*Sigh*

Beer please... =(

goodness no!

2006-12-20T16:22:00.000+08:00

I can't believe Mikey Way is getting married to THIS girl! Life is so unfair! *sigh*

sniff

2006-11-24T15:38:00.000+08:00

Long time no post. Been busy like hell this past week. School can be a bitch at times, and yeah I feel like the more we suffer, the more happier our profs get. I dunno, maybe it's just me. Anways, I did a little movie marathon last night to keep me company (I am again depressed for some strange reason), I'm feeling a little sad you see and felt like I need to cry to let it out. I watched THE NOTEBOOK (starring Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams) for the second time (the first time was last year) and can you believe it? I cried for the second time! lol. How pathetic can I get? :P

Sure enough, the next morning my eyes were all puffy. Haha my classmates can tell I cried my eye out the night before...hehe. What the heck, I had a good cry and that's what matters. Gaaah I am in-love with the movie! Even for how many times I watch it, I still love it!

I leave you with my favorite line from the film which hit me the most:

Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They're shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash they're gone.

So true... *sniff*

Goodbye to...

2006-11-04T21:36:00.000+08:00

mood: pissed at the world
listening to: Welcome to the Black Parade (My Chemical Romance)

I'll be missing a few people when the second semester starts, since by some unlucky chance, most of my good friends were moved to another section. It'll be a sad semester for me I guess, for they'll be not with me anymore. I just hate it, for I have to adjust to another environmnent again. I'll be missing them loads, and I dread going to school this Monday. It'll never be the same without 'em.I'll be missing these people this semester:

Japhet
Precious
Hendry
Jinnefer
Camela

Shit, school won't be the same without 'em. *sigh* And I'm fucking sad 'coz there's only one official hottie in my year, can you believe that?! Only one! Jeez, what a pathetic school. Remind me to transfer ASAP while I still can. lol.Okay, nothing much happened this week for I just slept all day mostly. I entered a fanfic competition at EW and I hope I did well. It took me 8 freaking hours to make. Woah, the longest one so far. Many hugs to Sandee for beta-reading some of it. You're the best Dee! =)

Mom's moving away again this month, she'll be going back to Manila for her work. Oh well, she'll be home for the holidays anyway so it's all good.Good news is, she'll send money once she gets her bonus and use it to buy a brand new PC (okay I begged for a laptop but my freaking brother disagreed) and have a internet connection up and going ASAP. Like yehey! I won't be going to these darn cafe's anymore! Bwahaha. Oh yeah, the cable connection will be re-connected as well. Splendid. It'll be a merry Christmas indeed.

I'm pissed at how Gerard Way (My Chemical Romance) looks like now. I like him better when he was so emo-looking/gothic kinda guy. Now he's wtf, blonde!?! He should've sticked to the gothic get-up...he's so much hotter that way. Now, it's like he's a boyband member or something. I dunno. But I love their new single Black Parade. It totally kicks ass.

Oh yeah..here's a pic of his new look:

http://s79.photobucket.com/albums/j121/heiress_shine/th_large-msg-115547283281.jpg

Okay I have to admit, he looks uber cute here. *faints*

Okay have to go now, it's getting late. Gaaah Gerard Way is so MINE. Pft. lol

PS : I don't update this blog of mine that often starting today, 'coz I made another account on blogger for another blog. This time, the link will be given to those who'll ask me for the link. It's for privacy's sake. Email me of drop a tag on the tag boards if you want to. But no worries, I'll update this blog every now and then when I feel like it. Lol. Peace out! :)

Harry's "Magic Stick"

2006-10-24T19:34:00.000+08:00

pretty self explanatory right? LOL. Great find Farrah, bravo! OMG, Gilly will love this, and especially Sandy. I'll post a real update tomorrow folks, have LOTS to rant about. Good and lots of bad ones, haha! Lick that magic stick... :P

Missing You

2006-10-20T14:37:00.000+08:00

mood: Busy
currently listening to: The Reason by Hoobastank

Hmmm..let's see, yeah hard to admit but yes I do miss my bestfriend. Not just because I'm (can I say was?) in love with him but because I miss our friendship, all the good times we've had all those 8 long years. Sad to say that just flew out the window like nothing, it's hard to say who gave up first. Me, who just stopped showing up and texting him or him, who didn't reply back. Its amazing how small Bacolod city is, but it's big enough not to let us see each other. Or its just because it isn't meant to be. My brother and sister see him all the time, but me no. I find it weird, and funny. I say that it's better this way, so I'll forget him faster but no...it only makes me miss him more.

It's funny how hard you try to forget someone, and you end up remembering all the good memories you've had with that person and you find yourself falling all over again. I can try not to remember...but how can I forget? I remember how we started seeing each other again earlier this year after two years since we last saw each other : It started with a text I sent him, telling him that if he's still using the same phone number he should contact me ASAP coz I have something to tell him (I was hoping I could tell him the truth that I do love him). Later that evening, he did reply back to my surprise and asked how I was doing. He later gave me his other cellphone number and said that he might contact me again soon. So I waited. And I didn't wait in vain.

12 0'clock came, I was about to sleep when my phone rang. It's him. Gaah, my heart beated twice as fast and at first I was hesitant if I would answer the call. Hell, I did anyway and yeah we talked for a while. He asked how I was and he said he missed me and all, so did I. The evening ended with me grinning like an idiot. He promised he'd call tomorrow.

So he did. And he asked if I could go to his high school graduation, can I resist? Of course no, even if I know that his gf will be there. I came in a little late, but he did see me in the audience, he even waved at me. I sat with his family and yeah, they said they missed me too and asked how I was doing. The ceremony ended fine, and when he came up to me he laughed and he said he was glad that he's finally taller than me...haha. Later, Mama Olive (yeah I call his grandma Mama too :P) asked if I could stay and have dinner with them...hell, I did.

His gf didn't show up, I learned later through his phone. Well she did show up, but uber late. They fought outside the resto and I just kept my mouth shut and stuffed fries into my mouth. I was having a good day. *evil laugh* After that, he did confess he was pissed at her for not showing up and having a pathetic reason for not being there. He thanked me I showed up on one of the most important moments of his life, and he's glad I'm his best friend. Okay, now I could cry remembering this. *sniff* The night ended with him taking me home and asked if we could hang out again, so we did. For a month or so, after that I ended it.

I miss having him around, I really do. I have to admit he'll be a permanent part of my life. No matter how I try to forget him, I won't. Coz he's already etched in my memory. I remember when he got his guitar and showed it off to me, and said if I could sit and listen to him sing (I didn't know he could, I just found that out when we met again) and so he did. He sang Hoobastank's The Reason with him playing the guitar. Who would've known the jerk could sing? Yeah it was awesome and now everytime I hear it, I remember him. How is he, I wonder. I hope he's doing fine. I have lots to tell him...but I'll save it 'til we meet again, hopefully.

Take care Ael...thanks for the friendship. =)

Random hottie

2006-10-17T18:15:00.000+08:00

Lee Jun-ki.

'Coz Asian guys are HOT, even if they look prettier than me. Haha.

1 hour on a hospital bed

2006-10-17T17:38:00.000+08:00

*yawn* So yeah, I just slept one hour on a hospital bed. Duh, like I wanted to. The freakin instructor made us wait all day for her to sign my fuckin checklist. She could've told us what time she'll sign, that way I couldn't have waited for like the whole effin day. Pft, I could've gone malling for pete's sake! Oh yeah, I have to get rid of my old hair-do ASAP. I hate it already, it getting drier. I'll ask mom to give me some spending money for it in a while. *evil laugh* So yeah back to the bed thing...it was surprisingly comfy, except there weren't any pillows. But at least I got to rest for a while, eventhough there were four of us (Angel, Jheza and Meanie) cramped together in that bed it was pretty okay. Too bad there wasn't a cutie around to cuddle/spoon with. Haha, I can't believe I just said that. :P

I updated my Myspace, so it isn't crappy anymore. Like yehey, haha.

OMG, Sandy showed Farrah and me some pics of 'em HOT guy friends of hers. Drool overflowed people, haha! We were oggling at our monitors it was silly. I wanted a plane ticket off to California so bad...haha! How hot can her guy friends be? Man, like I envy her lots now. Hey, have you noticed I'm using the word "like" often? Am I becoming a valley girl too? Haha.

I've been having WEIRD dreams lately, mostly with Hendry in it. Eeek, it's freaking me out. I do like the guy but that doesn't mean I wanna snog him or him snogging me! Jeez, some dream alright. Thank goodness its only a dream, coz that would be WRONG. But if its Warlie were talking about then thats another thing. YES to him all the way. Gahaha.

It's supposed to be the semestral break but it seems like we are not having it anyway, with all the school requirements and stuff. Pft. Why did I chose to be a Nurse anyway? Get me outta here! Off to my happy place again...whoosh.

BTW : I learned a new word today courtesy of my friend Pem. It's ASS (After Sex Syndrome) she used that term to Francis when he looked haggard when he joined us after "talking" to Mae. Hehe. "Omg, you're such an ASS." Lol.

Screw it

2006-10-16T18:29:00.000+08:00

why did it have to be this way?

Lucky day

2006-10-16T12:55:00.000+08:00

So yeah, I'm now using a PC at the school's internet lab and I'm grinning like an idiot? Why you ask? Well I scored today, not once, not twice, but THRICE. *evil laugh* Haha who would've thought that three of my crushes and I share the same clinical instructor? This is my lucky day I guess, although it started shitty to me. First, I got up late so I hurried on the way to school. If that wasn't enough I also left my freakin checklist at home, and I realized that when I got to school. The hell? What was I thinking not to realize that I've forgotten the most important stuff I have to bring? Jeez. So yeah I have to back home again, which cost me another 20 fucking pesos and muscle cramps from walking back and forth. Pft.

Then I finally got to school...that's when things started to brighten up for me. OMG, Warlie said something to me! $!(!^!&!99&$%!#$ I didn't know he was the guy sitting in front of me coz everyone was cramming already, including me. So yeah everyone was shouting and the line was waaaaaay long and I have to get to it fast. I asked for my friend (Precious) to help me with things and she let me borrow her checklist so I can copy a few things. Then this guy in front of me shoves a paper to my face and tapped my hand saying, "Hey, your friend dropped this." and when I looked up it was Warlie. WTF, haha cloud nine I tell ya! I saw my other friend Pem giving me devilish looks from the corner of my eye, haha! OMG Christopher was also there, damn it. He said "Hi" and I almost fainted. I know, how sad. Then yeaaaah Hendry was in a good mood today, good enough to join in the fun I'm having while I was sitting on the vacant hospital bed on the room. The moron's flirt meter was on a all time high today, haha good coz I was in the mood as well. :P

I have loads to tell but nah, you guys are probably bored out of your wits reading my posts anyway. But yeah I am still not over the feeling of actually scoring big time today, gaaaaah somebody slap me. Lolz.

Okay gotta run, many more checklists to sign and uhh..yeah checking out guys as well. Duh? =)

Notice

2006-10-15T20:39:00.000+08:00

Looking back

2006-10-15T19:38:00.000+08:00

mood:
listening to: Happy by Saving Jane

First of all, I'm posting something good that happened to me today. Gaaah, how about seeing all my crushes (and I mean all) in church unsexpectedly? I'm grinning from ear to ear its silly. Haha. I saw Joey and his equally gorgeous brother Jamie (Benjamin), then there was Joel who was a former buddy at camp, and OMG my Anatomy professor with his *cough* gf. So four J's all together! Bwahaha now thats a party! I mean I didn't know which way to look and to greet who first. Pathetic really, lol. I'm kinda glad I saw sir Jon for the last time, coz he's off to Chicago tomorrow. Wow, some luck. And he said hi first so I'm like in cloud nine today. :P What is it with me with guys with names that starts with either J or M? Hmm... I just noticed this really. Okay now moving on to the sappy part of my rant today (I wasn't expecting something good to happen to me today and I was supposed to start with a sappy post actually) :

Filling up my empty days with red wine

Wonder what you think of me?

Lying in the grass alone and wasted

Nothing’s how it used to be

It's funny how you keep on falling in love over and over again even if you get hurt all the time, as if being hurt once wasn't enough. Is it just me or does love make people do stupid things? Like everytime when you hear a song on the radio that reminds you of him you always end up crying but after that you'll slap yourself from doing so coz its stupid. Or you get drunk coz you got hurt, drowning your pain with booze and all you got is a terrible hangover and an empty pocket the next morning. And you hope he remembers what date is today, coz its supposed to be your monthsary but there's still the possibility he wouldn't.And yeah there's the hope that he'll still think about you, with the smallest expectation that he'll do so when you know that he won't...'coz he's happy with someone else.

I wanna be the first to call and tell you

Yesterday I heard the news

I hear you oughtta be congratulated

So I guess that’s what I’ll do

Forever the martyr, that's what I am. My friend reckons I should be shot coz all martyrs end up dead. But yeah I'm better off dead anyway, than to feel this way. Define martyr? It's letting go, letting go and more letting go. Letting yourself on the losing side. You gamble everything even when you know you'll end up losing in the end. It's pretending to smile and be happy for him when he's with someone else, but deep inside you're dying. You try to be happy and you pretend to be, but you know you aren't. But what can I do? If that makes him happy then I'll let him go. Hah, the true words of a martyr.

I’m so happy for you I could cry

Yeah, I’m so elated

Cross my heart and hope to die

I don’t think about you every night

Before I close my eyes

I’m so happy for you baby, I could cry.

You try not to cry, telling yourself it's stupid like crying over split milk. But then you think about it, then feeling sorry for it. It could've been much better if you got to drink it all. But there are the factors : the table wasn't strong enough to support the glass coz you hurried on making it; he wants juice, but you can't give him that. Coz thats what you are: milk, but you can't be juice and you'll never be; he doesn't like how the milk tastes anymore, so might as well tip and over and spill it on the floor coz he realizes he didn't want milk after all. Funny how I use spilt milk as a metaphor. I'm a certified sicko now.

Listen to the sound of my head pounding

Wish that it was make-believe

Praying for the skies to open up and

Wash away your memory

I can walk around with a pretty face on

Even when I’m black and blue

What’s the point in telling everybody

I’m not over you.

You feel stupid for falling in love in the first place, but you already did so its too late to take it back. It's your fault in the first place. You go out everyday pretending to be fine, joking with all your friends telling them you're so over him and say that he wasn't that much of a matter at all. You can fool everybody, but not yourself. You're still the Shine that sulks in the room, listening to music and crying every night feeling miserable for yourself. You're still that someone who wished you have never loved at all, if it only hurts this way. You're afraid to love again, coz everytime you do so you get hurt. You're always the one who gets left behind. You're always the sorry one. You still hate yourself, for not being not like this and like that. But what's use? You can never be her, or her or her. You'll still be the same person no matter how hard you try. You hope that someday there's someone who'll finally come along and see you for who you are, without letting you feel inferior, and love you for what you are. But then, you get tired of waiting. You always ask when...hoping it'll be soon.

Cry about the love we used to have

Cry that I won’t ever get you back

Yeah you've told him you're okay with it. Told him that you're happy for him and you're moving on. You've told him he's already forgiven and you'll stay as friends no matter what happens. That's the problem with me, I'm easy to forgive. Just like that, we're good. It is easy to say, "It's okay, I've forgiven you." but how can I forget? Forget all that we've talked about, all the fun we had. How can I forget? Tell me, coz I want to. But that's the problem, I can't. No matter how hard I try, I still remember. And I still cry about it, I have to admit. I still play our song, I still read your emails. I still talk about you, I still think about you. But I know, it didn't work and it'll never will. And that's whats killing me. If only...

I’m so happy for you I could cry

Yeah, I’m so elated

Cross my heart and hope to die

I’m so happy for you So, so happy for you

I don’t think about you every night

Before I close my eyes

I’m so happy for you baby, I could cry.

Sarcasm : my anti-drug. If you only knew how I die everyday, how hard it is for me to say I'm okay with everything. But you don't. Do you even care? I hope you're happy right now, well I'm sure you are. I don't know what to say anymore to be honest, coz if I say anything further I will cry. Hell, I already am. But no matter what you do, it'll still hurt. Even if how careful you try to say things not to hurt me they always will. I know you still care for me and I thank you for doing so, but you can't help but to hurt me more. It's okay, its not you its me. I'm driving myself crazy. How can I be happy? I wish I could, but I'll never be. But for you...I'll try.

October 15, 2006.

Happy Monthsary. Here's to what it might have been.

'Til next rant,

Shine

Insensitive

2006-10-14T11:55:00.000+08:00

Yeah, the song says it all. Pft, go figure. That's all I'm going to post for today. Oh yeah I made a few changes in my blog: I changed my display pic so its uglier than before, haha. And I posted a playlist below with all my uh..fave songs at the moment. :P Someone please just shoot me right now, lol. Sandy I hope you feel better now, I'll be here to listen okay? LOve yah dee...*hugs* 'Til next rant. Byebye

Sssss....

2006-10-13T10:26:00.000+08:00

Okay, this week has been really something for me. I know I should be on a blog leave, but nah I take it back. Haha, the same goes for the PCD song "I Don't Need A Man", coz it's my official theme song now. What a loser I make, haha! So there. I lost at the Speech Fest competition, so did our group. But no matter, we did our best and that's what matters. We got close though (our group) and I think that's the best thing this contest has given me. At first it was odd, being with a bunch of people I just knew this second year of college. I was hesitant joining the verse choir, but I joined anyway. I gained friends so it's all good. I may not be rich financially, but I have the bestest friends anyone could ask for. So yeah, holler to all those whom I've met and befriended throughout the years. =)

I had fun at the competition though, especially when I got to see *cough* Warlie again. Gaah, I stutter everytime I see him. I act a like a total school girl its sad. Haha, I finally said a word to him the other day when my classmates learned about my undying crush on the guy they called him when he was passing by and introduced me to him. Yeah...some friends! Lol. I finally managed to utter a pathetic "Hi," and waved at him. He smiled and I almost fainted...not! :P I saw him again on the contest proper and I can't look at him for pete's sake, but I can feel him looking at me. Gaaah, what to do what to do? Whatevs.

I'm also thinking of cutting my hair, coz I just feel like having a new look. I'm getting tired of my hair, I feel like I look older with it long. The only reason I've kept it long was because ex-guy bestfriend Mishael wanted it that way, saying it was the most softest thing he has touched. Ohkaaay. And there's no reason keeping it long now, coz we don't effin talk anymore. Besides, Marc wanted my hair shorter. Lol. Now I'm sincerely praying they don't have the links to my blog. Wait, Hendry likes my hair long I think. Hmm... *slaps self* haha!

Semestral Break is fast approaching...weee! Masskara festival here I come! Can't wait to finally take a loooong rest and get ready for a dreaded second sem of Nursing. I just hope I'm still alive when the school year ends. I'll be having clinical duties soon, and be really really busy. No matter, I can't wait to finally wear my nightingale/duty uniform. Hehe. But I don't think I'll be checking out the cutie BSBio students that'll be studying next year though, had enough action already. Pft. I'll be allergic to anything attributed to that course for a while, until we get things straight. REPLY TO MY GODDAMN EMAIL! Sheessh.

Oh yeah back to the Sssss thing, yesterday my dog Louie suddenly barked like crazy in the middle of the night, pissing me off. I went out to check out what's wrong, maybe some stray cat entered the yard again. But there he was, barking at the bush just a feet away from where I stood. Sandy barked with Louie now, louder than before and was trying to catch something that was making the bush shake. Suddenly Louie caught something and pulled it out from there, scaring the daylights outta me. It was a freaking snake, about 2 feet long. WTF?! I screamed, in fear of it biting me or the possibility of it landing at my feet 'coz the fuckin dog was headed towards me with the twitching snake at its mouth. Waaah, so yeah i woke up the whole house (maybe the neighborhood even) and dad came out of the house carrying this huge knife and hacked the snake until it died. Louie and Sandy ate its remains...yech. I feel bad for the snake though, but hell, it could've bit me if I got any nearer to that bush. *shivers*

Can you believe that? Me, the Slytherin heiress scared of a snake? Haha. I have lots of explaining to do Draco...I know. My bad. Bwahaha.

'Til next rant, gotta study for the exam tomorrow. Sod it.

HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13TH!

It's Draco's favorite day...*evil laugh* Die mudbloods, die!

Parang kami, parang hindi

2006-10-09T18:53:00.000+08:00

Ate Icar posted this on Pex yesterday, I know I'm on blog leave (supposedly) but I can't resist posting this. This is so me, it's freaking me out. It's in tagalog so sorry to those who can't understand it, lol. Kudos to those who can. For the rest of you guys feeling like shit, let's toast to it. To those who have a lovelife, screw you. Kidding.

--------------------

"Parang Kayo, Parang Hindi"

She is a 24-year old copywriter. He is an architect. They met and became lovers in college. They broke up last year but remained to be "friends."

They send sweet text messages and he calls her often to make sure she's okay. They still date. They still have sex.

They don't see anyone else. It is obvious that they still love each other but when asked about their situation, she doesn't know the real score. Even

her friends are in the dark. "Parang sila, pero hindi."

She works in a telecom. He is reviewing for the board. They are in the same barkada. They talk on the phone till 4 am. He gives her chocolates, flowers and CDs even when there is no occasion. Their friends are suspecting something. Bakit sila nagsosolo kapag may overnight inuman? Why does he hold her close on the dance floor? Bakit sila magkaholding hands lagi?

Sila kaya?

"He hasn't admitted anything," she rants. "But I let him hug and kiss me. Parang kami, pero hindi."

They work together in an ad agency. After office, they would watch movie, have dinner and stroll at Glorietta. She gave him Harry Potter books for his birthday in exchange for posing as her boyfriend to make an ex jealous. They made out during the company outing in Subic and never talked about it. He said "I love you" once but she wasn't sure if she heard him correctly because they were both drunk then. But one thing she is sure of is her feelings for him. She likes him. And she's assuming that with what he's doing to her and with her, he likes her, too. There's just one hitch: he has a girlfriend!

She is a 28-year-old virgin. He's a 35-year-old bachelor. Both mountaineers, they became close during their climbs. After a few dates in posh restaurants, he brings her to his condo where they would make out.

They have been doing this for months. She wants to believe that "sila na" but then she's not really sure about it. "We don't talk about it but it doesn't really matter," she'd tell her friends. "What's important is I am enjoying this -- whatever it is."

The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage. Others call it MU or mutual understanding. Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo- boyfriends.

Flings. Almost like a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers.

Puwedeng may verbal agreement, puwedeng wala. One or both of you may have admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi. You just let your gestures do the talking for you. Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari. Hindi kayo mag-dyowa.

Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.

This kind of "relationship" can happen at different stages for different reasons. It can happen after a break-up. You still love each other, and you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason. A nd for reasons that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan.

It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong nakikiramdam. Possible din na ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa-kunwarian lang muna.

Testing lang.

Puwede ring hindi puwedeng maging kayo kasi isa sa inyo --usually the guy --may ka-relasyon na. Kaya habang hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon sa girl (sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niya ginagawa), wala muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangagaliwa kasi "hindi naman kayo." This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun. Lalo na kung naghahanap ka lang naman ng "kalaro." Pero huwag ka lang mag-e-expect na may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang kasiguraduhan.

So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong set up ganoong hindi naman sigurado kung may patutunguhan? Iba't ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang. Puwedeng "buti na iyan kesa w ala" or puwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom." Meaning, habang wala pa iyong the real thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian. For those who are not in a serious relationship, they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all. It would be fun, if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling.

Aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may mga pseudo-relationships din ako. No commitments involved. For the simplest reason that they couldn't commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren't ready to commit.

My rationalization, "okay na iyun, kesa wala."

Ang habol ko lang naman, iyong kilig feeling. Iyong merong nagtatanong kung kumusta araw ko. Iyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing. Iyong kapag tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na ako dahil alam kong galing sa kanya ang message. Iyong merong laging kasama. Habang wala pa ang the real thing, puwede na itong pagtiyagaan. But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real. And usually, in this kind of set up, ang babae lagi ang lugi.

Una, you can't ask him to commit. Since it's not really a relationship, you can't demand commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo? May K ka nga ba magpasundo ng hatinggabi? You will always be uncertain about your role in his life. You can't expect him to be always there with you. And if you feel jealous of the other girls, you just have to keep it to yourself. Ano ka ba niya para magselos?

Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him? You can't be sure if he feels the same way. Baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya. Even if you are dying to tell him you love him, you can't. Because you're not sure if he'll like it. Baka mapahiya ka lang. This stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship. Or if there is a relationship at all.

Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much? What if you have invested all your emotions and this man hasn't? What if you remain faithful to him, not entertaining other guys, only to find out that he is seeing other girls? Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is fleeting. When a disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it.

Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship. Wala kang pinanghahawakan.

Kasi sa pseudo-relationship, there is no "us." Meron lang "you and me," hindi "us."

Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi eh. Real pain. And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo- relationship, hindi mo maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin iyun. And you will be miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to have, only to find out eventually that the guy is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody else. Ang hirap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then you'd end up hurting yourself in the process. Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh.

Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang future and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of the consequences. But if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, kailangan mo mamili. You can be happy and live the moment without worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing. When I was younger and in a pseudo-relationship with an unavailable guy, a friend told me, "Sige, kung ayaw mong magpapigil, bahala ka. Magpakasaya ka. Pero huwag kang iiyak-iyak pagkatapos, dahil tatadyakan kita."

Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa iyo, gawin mo. Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence. Dahil ang "parang kayo pero hindi" stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo.

Usually, hanggang doon lang siya ... almost, but not quite.

-------------------------------------------------

See what I mean? This hit me bigtime. It's so me, except the example or the characters given. But still it opened up my eyes to something. I'm half-drunk, not stupid. Had too many beers but I can still think straight. Semestral break is fast approaching, dunno if I can still enjoy it much. I've doing good, moving on day by day. But still the realization still hurts. Coz something inside me still wants him back, and I've been listening to the same effin song for the 3oth time now (like i'm counting) but who cares? Its over, he ended it. And it still hurts.

Goodbye...for now.

2006-10-07T14:01:00.000+08:00

SHINE IS ON TEMPORARY BLOG LEAVE 'TIL FURTHER NOTICE

(and I mean further notice, oh make that after I get really drunk and stupid, haha!)

Hey, maybe I won't be blogging anymore. Let's see. But for now, off to the bar to get some booze. Pft, stupid life. Everything's screwed up including me. Bye.

Bittersweet

2006-10-05T20:46:00.000+08:00

mood:dunno what it is really. uh happy but sad? eeek.
listening to: Hurt by Christina Aguilera

I had a pretty interesting, happy and screwed up day today. So its all weird. I didn't do good in the Anatomy tests so yeah goodbye exemptions on the final exam. Pft, I changed my answers on some items when they were correct the way they were. Don't you just hate that? And you sometimes wish time can go backwards so that you can correct the mistakes you've made, whether in tests or in life. It'll be cool huh? Too bad you can't turn back time. *sigh*

The fun part came in on my last class for the day : Stratedgies on Health Education. We were having return demos on every topic assigned to us and it was Annalin's turn and her topic was Sexual Positions. So judging from the topic alone you can be sure that we had a blast. I was laughing so hard my sides hurt, not too mention teary-eyed from laughing. It was informative, but nah, I knew all the stuff she said waaaaay back. Let's say I know A LOT. *evil laugh* But yeah, after that it was back to feeling miserable again. Don't ask, I feel bad already.

Hey, I'm posting some excerpts from the song Hurt to give you a glimpse of how I pretty much feel. So yeah, here are some lines I like:

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
But I know you won't be there

Some days I feel broke inside
But I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide
'Cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this, ooh

So yeah, that pretty much describes it. *sigh* Well, back to my little corner now I guess, and sulk and feel bad about everything. How can you forgive someone when that someone is yourself? And what am I talking about? Haha, am I talking sense into you guys? Guess not, 'coz I don't understand myself either. It's raining outside by the way, so yeah it's pretty much gloomy.

Life is so complicated. Darn it.

Random Top Ten Songs

2006-10-04T18:30:00.000+08:00

Okay, I'm a sucker for good music so yeah here is the list of my random Top Tens:

Top Ten Breaking-up Songs

1. It Ends Tonight - All American Rejects

2. Don't Forget About Us - Mariah Carey

3. Let Me Go - Three Doors Down

4. Do I Have To Cry For You - Nick Carter

5. Say Goodbye - Jordan Mcknight

6. Hurt - Christina Aguilera

7. Call Me When You're Sober - Evanescence

8. Before I Let You Go - Freestyle

9. Everytime - Britney Spears

10. What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts

~*~*~*~

Top Ten Feel Good Songs

1. Sexy Back - Justin Timberlake

2. Promiscuous Girl - Nelly Furtado

3. Sexy Love - Neyo

4. Dirty Little Secret - All American Rejects

5. Lying Is The Most Fun... - Panic! At The Disco

6. Sugar We're Going Down - Fall Out Boy

7. Buttons - Pussy Cat Dolls

8. This Love - Maroon 5

9. My Humps - Black Eyed Peas

10. Unfaithful - Rihanna

~*~*~*~

Top Ten Love Songs

1. You And Me - Lifehouse

2. Collide - Howie Day

3. When Love And Hate Collide - Deff and Leppard

4. Half Crazy - Freestyle

5. The Reason - Hoobastank

6. Iris - Goo Goo Dolls

7. Kiss By A Rose - Seal

8. I Knew I Love You - Savage Garden

9. Kiss Me - Sixpence Non The Richer

10. Don't Speak - No Doubt

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I know, so random right? Haha. How lame of me. More to come when I think of other Top Ten's. And yeah Dee don't look at me like that! I know what you're thinking! Pft. Did I tell ya that I was oggling watching the cute waiter serve other customers at a restaurant I was eating at with my dad yesterday? Oh I did, sheessh what a loser! Haha!

Masskara Season finally started, time to party! Yahoo! Maymee lets paint the town red! Waah! Can't wait. Oktoberfest here we come! Haha! Okay okay, I won't drink. Riiight. Lol.

Enough ranting, I'm talking gibberish anyway. :P

Byers!

Aww...that hurt

2006-10-03T15:52:00.000+08:00

Cute, aint he? Hehe, reminds me of my dog Louie. He looks just like the puppy in the pic. Lol. Anyways, back to updating my blog. Yeah, my head hurts. Woke up this morning with a fever and a headsplitting headache. I got soaked by rain on my way home so that's the reason why I got fever the next day. I feel a little better, but I feel like I have hangover or something. So more or less, I feel buzzed and a bit sleepy.

Something weird happened to me when I was on my way home yesterday. I was walking on the side street, towards the jeepney stop when I suddenly felt pain on my right foot like something pricked me. I took off my shoe (which was embarassing enough) and guess what I found? A thumbtack! A freakin thumbtack on my shoe! What the hell was wrong with this city? Who leaves/scatters a thumbtack on the pavement? Man, that was sick! So yeah my foot bled and now I walk with a little difficulty. Stupid thumbtack. Pft.

Oh yeah, I missed practice today 'coz I'm sick. I feel bad about it. I must make it up to them next time. Sorry guys, got sick so yeah. I'll be present next time. Hugs!

A funny thing happened to me btw. There's this guy Warlie in my school, who's a a hottie and everyone seems to have a crush on him (okay I have a crush on the guy too but thats it). Recently, I added him on friendster which he kindly accepted but we don't talk at all. I see him everyday and he's friends with my classmates and all but I don't say a word to him. I dunno, I always wait for someone to talk to me before I talk back. The funny thing is, coz I started having crush on him since first year so yeah he always caughts me everytime I stare at him coz for some strange reason he looks back. Pft. Right. So I reckon he knows me by my face or something. Lol.

When I was surfing the net at the school's internet lab, my friend and I were at disbelief that he actually accepted my invitation at friendster (which was lame), and some minutes after guess who walks in? Him. Jeez, my friend kept on teasing me but I was cool about it. Didn't say a thing to him but I just stared at him when he was facing the other way, lol! He saw me stare at him which was even more embarassing, sending my friend into controlled giggles. Whatevs.

So yeah, I had an uncomfortable time sitting there with him on the other side of my PC. So I decided to leave with my friend. While we were waiting for my ID to be logged out, I saw my friend Harlene sitting beside Warlie. I greeted her saying, "Hey Harlene," and waved at her and wtf, he turned his head to look at me! That's when I realized, he must've thought I called his name! Get it? Harlene and Warlie. Close enough. So yeah, this time he got embarassed! Haha priceless! I was smirking all day, go me.

To end this post, I would just like to clarify that Warlie is just a crush and nothing more. Dee I know what you're thinking! Pft. So yeah, we don't talk at all so nothing to be worried about Jace. Hehe. You and Me played again on the radio earlier today, that got me to get off of bed. :P And yeah our housekeeper was probably surprised when I suddenly got up and jumped up and down squeeing. Yeah I know, what a loser I make. Gaah, whatta day. I feel drowsy. *zzzzzz*

off to dreamland,
Shine

Behind the white sheets lie...eeeek! Haha

2006-10-02T18:32:00.000+08:00

Unspoken horror that's what. Haha, if its Mark and Hendry performing bed bath behind it. Ewww! I can't believe I took a peek. I thought it was Carol and Jen in there. The horror. LOL. Okay, let's just pretend I didn't see anything (like there was anything to see, loser!). So yeah, just wanna say thanks to you guys for making me laugh so hard today. Mark I must say you have the coolest sense of humor ever. But yeah try to not make Carmini cry the next time you tease her. Sheessh. Thanks for showing off your so-called abs. Pft, your ribcage is practically visible from here. Eat up boy! Haha!

Omg, Hendry has new-found talent. He can fit into the OHP table. You're passable for the circus! Haha! Sorry about hearing that you and Yumi broke up. *pats him on the back* There are many more fish in the ocean, but its how you get them thats the problem. LOL. Good luck with that.

Gaah, I won second place in the flower arranging contest. Maybe I was destined to be a florist and not a nurse. Hehe. Well, if its being Jace's nurse I wouldn't mind. OMG, did I just say that?! Gahaha. You better be online on Wednesday babe, or else. Kidding. :P Kisses! Maybe we could do that doctor and nurse thing again. Whoopsies! Dee I know, I'm a loser! LOL.

So I pretty much arranged flowers and rolled on the hospital laughing all day, not much fun. But tomorrow's practice day again so I might roll over the floor this time laughing. Haha, we better win or we're so dead on Health Care. Scary, so break a leg people! 'Til next rant, I'm buzzed. :P

I don't need a ... WHAT?!

2006-09-30T20:24:00.000+08:00

So I came across this new vid by PCD:

the song rocks and Nicole really pwns but yeah I think I'll keep my man for now thank you very much, haha! If I found the song a month earlier then this could've been my anthem. But right now? Nah. I like my man the way he is. *winks*

Please, not another bite

2006-09-27T16:26:00.000+08:00

mood: so full I wanna puke, LOL.
listening to: Stick Wit U by PCD

Okay, sorry I haven't updated my blog. I've been really busy and so many things kept me preoccupied this past week. For one, I've been busy in having our daily practice for the upcoming Speech Fest at school. I'm up for two contests: Verse Choir and the Extemporaneous speaking. I've been having a blast in every practice, 'coz most of the time we spend time cracking each other up. Of course, our oh so patient *cough* director gets pissed all the time because of that. Bwahaha! Can't wait for the final practice, I hope we'll do great. Yay!

I'm kinda sad 'coz Mom is leaving for Manila tomorrow. Dunno when she'll be back though. I hope it'll be soon, coz I'll miss her lots. *sad face* And oh yeah, Jace will start school tomorrow! Woot! Aww, you'll be busy by then. *pouts* Send me an email when you're free okay, doc? Kisses! Dee started school last monday. Way to go Dee! You'll do great I bet. Mwah! Oh yeah... the dD's have our very own forums now! Woah! I know, awesome isn't it? Dee made it, so it's great! I'll post the link in the links section. Check us out when you have time. :P

Just a while ago, I dropped by mom's office 'coz I don't have anything else better to do. It so happens that they're having a mini-party before she goes to Manila. So yeah obviously there's food, which I refused from eating 'coz I just ate lunch. But oh boy, they shoved the ice cream at my face! What was I supposed to do? If I refuse again, it'll be rude of me. So I had some. In fact, I had too much Rocky Road I feel like puking. Ewww. Haha! I won't touch ice cream for a while, really. I feel so guilty at the moment. Lol.

Sir Jonathan's about to leave for the States by the way. Which sucks 'coz I'll miss him lots. I even cried when he announced it at class. Of course, almost all the girls were teary-eyed. Sheessh! Haha! Well it's not like I like him or anything, (but yes, he's my crush) but it'll never be the same without him around. Anatomy was a blast because of him, and he was the best professor around. *sigh* We'll miss you sir, take care and don't forget to give me your email add before you leave. Gahaha! Pft.

Enough rant, 'til next time. TC.

Wow

2006-09-20T15:22:00.000+08:00

mood: accomplished
currently listening to: Hands Down by Dashboard Confession

Hooray! OMG we qualified for the verse choir! Bwahaha. I'm so happy I could treat you all out to dinner...naaah! Lol! All the hardwork paid off, or maybe its just because we're so damn good. Haha! Congratulations also to Chino and Annalin for qualifying for the Character Impersonation finals and Hendry for the Oration. Oh to myself as well for qualifying for the Extemporaneous Speech. Haha, well what do you know? Stroke of luck I guess, good luck to us guys. Job well done! *hugs*

A big shoutout to Jace and Sandee as well. *waves* Jace, I hope you feel lots better now. Reply to my email soon, I miss you lots. Dee, how are ya doin? Chill down girl, don't worry I'm sure you guys can fix this. Love ya girl! =)

Now I'm off to study for Anatomy. Whooosh!

Random post number 2

2006-09-19T16:40:00.000+08:00

Whew! Finally, were done practicing! I thought we'll take all day! I mean we started early in the morning for pete's sake! I'm just so happy that we finally got it right, after all that rolling and screaming gaaaah I think I won't participate in voice choirs for a while, haha! So the day ended with Hendry getting pissed 'coz we can't get it right (or maybe because we made him dance from the truth or dare game), oh I know you have a date with Yumi! Haha! Pft, loser! Oh and many sorry's to Rachel 'coz I mispelled her name. Sheesh woman, it was an honest mistake! And thanks to M Linn for stepping on my foot. Now it's throbbing thank you very much. Haha, kidding I still love yah! And many sorry's to Marc too who's hands are now numb from drumming, get some ice on it! Haha!

Man, talk about having a rough day. What happened to me this morning was very weird. When I entered mom and dad's room to say goodbye dad told me to get closer 'coz he'll ask me something. When I asked what is it he told me that he had a dream, that someone's courting me through emails and asked if me if it's true or who it was. WHAT THE?! I swear I haven't told anyone about this at home. Dee I can see you laughing just about now. Haha! Of course I denied it, or else I'm dead! Lol! That was just creepy, or maybe 'coz dad's psychic too. Gahaha! I can't believe he said that. Really. *screams*

Okay, I think I've ranted enough for today. Goodluck to me and the guys tomorrow. Hope we'll kick ass! Yeah! Hehe.

randomly yours,
Shine

Yet another random post

2006-09-19T12:35:00.000+08:00

mood:
currently listening to: random songs from the radio

pretty much how i feel today, tired. Lol

I would just like to take the oppurtunity of thanking a few friends of mine who cracked me up the whole morning and caused me to laugh like a total idiot. Haha, who needs clowns when I have friends like you? Okay, first up Rachelle. Girl you have some serious humor issues! I never knew practicing could be that fun. Now you made my stomach hurt! Next, Marc for being a total moron while playing the drums. You're out of beat! Haha! At least you try, and thanks for playing "Shine, Jesus Shine" over and over again. You remind me that my name sucks, kidding! Oh god Annalin for being you. Just seeing you cracks me up! Hendry for being the good director that you are (and no malice meant there), and oh yeah thanks for the yen you gave me, eventhough it doesnt have any value at all. Hey, you tried! Haha! Carolin for shaking her butt like there's no tomorrow. Your butt cracked me up...harhar! The same goes for Blanche, Precious, Jennifer, Toni, Joy, Meanie, and M Linn. Good luck to us tomorrow, I hope we suck. Kidding!! We'll do good that's for sure. =)

Okay enough rant, must go back and practice! *wink*

Sigh

2006-09-18T11:34:00.000+08:00

*pouts lip* Yeah, I'm sad. Well, for a lot of reasons. First, I screwed up on my midterms grades. Didn't do good either in the return demos...so I sucked big time. I'm feeling kinda low these days, and I think my depression has reached its height as well. I don't feel like eating at all. I feel good when I starve myself and if I eat I feel like throwing up 'coz I feel fat. I am trying to loose some weight but some of my friends say that I'm going overboard by starving myself. Am I still okay? Hmm. My self-esteem deteriorates everyday, and the only thing that could make me feel better is losing some major weight. Gaaah I feel so stupid. What the heck is wrong with me? Is this because of me starving myself that's why I'm doing all this? I don't know what to do anymore! My dad is expecting so much from me, and I'm afraid that I might fail him. He wanted me to be a nurse so bad, and I respected that so I took this course. But now, I'm not happy with what I do anymore. I wanted to do stuff that I couldn't. I feel so alone, empty.

My classmates aren't helping either. They always choose me to do this and that. In fact, I'm up for 3 contests on Wednesday: extemporaneous, oration and verse choir! I'm not super girl here! Gaaaah I'm so pissed at the moment. In fact, I just finished my return demo for Bed Bath a while ago. Don't ask how it went, I might kill somebody in the process. Pssssh. Some important people in my life are going someplace too this week. Which makes me more sadder. *sigh*

First, my mom's returning to Manila. Dunno why the sudden change but she said she had to 'coz of her job. I hate it when mom's not around. I don't have someone to talk to. I'm gonna miss her so much, and I hope she'll keep in touch with us all the time. Dad isn't doing so good in budgeting, so good luck with that. Gee, I can't wait to eat fast food stuff. Yech. Now I have valid reasons not to eat. Lolz!

Jace is going away too. He's moving to LA from San Jose. I'm sad 'coz we won't be able to talk online for a few days because he's taking off his wireless connection for a while. So I won't be able to talk to him then. Hun, if you're reading this I'm gonna miss you lots. Goodluck there! And I ran out of things to say again...gahaha! Do keep in touch babe. =)

*goes back to pouting lips*

darn, I left my RLE notebook at home too. I'm so dead. *sigh*

What's up doc?

2006-09-13T12:55:00.000+08:00

I know...it's Bugs Bunny's famous line. Gahaha!

So now I'll just probably tell about my malling escapade with Miss M last night. So with no good belt she wanted in sight, we ended up strolling the mall up to the third floor and back and oh yeah passing by the Mirmo doll she wanted the most for like 5 times I think, keeping in mind to tell JM to get her that for Christmas, lol! So the question now is, M what will you get me for Christmas? bwahaha! I was kinda tired from walking, and to add insult to injury M was eating in front of a girl who's on a diet. But nah, I survived that without eating anything! Haha! I was tempted but my convictions won over my hunger, duh? I should get a medal for myself, you think? So yeah, she ate a hotdog sandwich then bought a chicken burger meal at KFC for a take out. And she thinks she's fat? M, if your fat then I'm obese, gahaha! You aren't I swear! Makes me wonder where you put all that stuff you eat. If I had your figure well, I'll flaunt it! Weeeeh.

So there, I mostly ate air last night. Pretty yummy too. :P

To end my entry I would like to say hi to a doctor out there who'll be probably reading this in a while. Sorry for the arguement we had yesterday, gah I still feel really awful about it. I acted so stupid...*slaps self* =)

(I'm sooooooooo dead. I know.)

Uhhh...what now?

2006-09-12T12:13:00.000+08:00

Hey, it's been a while since my last post. Sorry, I've been really busy and a lot of things happened the past week. Finally, the midterm exams are over and now I'll be on the look-out for the final exams *shivers*. I've been dieting too, so far so good. I feel good actually, nah who am I kidding? I'm starving myself to loose weight! haha! I feel like a walking corpse at times 'coz I don't have any energy left, but for the sake of a nice figure I'll do it. Let me loose 10-15 pounds then were good. *prays he won't read this* eeeeek.

Meyms left for Manila and I didn't got the chance to say goodbye! I just found that out when she texted me on the airport that the reggae band we both love was on the same flight with her, pft lucky girl. Anyways, I hope she'll be back soon 'coz I'll miss you to bits. Maymee come back! Lol!

Oh yeah, about the avi right there of H/Hr, I just posted it there 'coz I felt like it. And it's inspired by P!ATD's song so yeah. I'm crazy about the band right now, I'm listening to their songs over and over again.

It'll be hectic this week too, gaaaah wish me luck. By the way, it was my friend Michelle's birthday last Sunday (10th) and she treated us to the movies. I had fun. It's good to be with old friends again, I miss them already. Emilie's grandmother treated us to pizza after that, so after 2 slices of pizza my diet was ruined for the meantime....haha! It was Sandy's birthday too, and I hope she reads this. I love ya girl! And please, remember to bring the freakin cam with you all the time! Especially when *coughcalvincough* is there! Details girl, details!!

So...what now?

Uhm, three cheers for me I guess. For what? Well, that's for me to keep. Gahaha!

*sings to P!ATD again*

ciao!

Errr...

2006-09-01T20:22:00.000+08:00

now that's hot. even if they're bi's

now that's an orgy I want to be in to, ooops!

Rock Eyecandies...yum!

2006-09-01T19:20:00.000+08:00

RYAN ROSS of P!ATD

(cuteness...)

Brendon Urie of P!ATD

(he's so cute! *faint*)

Now you now why I'm into Alternative all of a sudden, haha! Shit, I'm in love with their songs and to the band members as well! Bwahaha! I swear they sound like Fall Out Boy most of the time, maybe because FOB discovered Panic! At The Disco...lolz! Both bands rock anyways. But Brendon and Ryan are just teh sex! Rawr!

(Oh yeah, just so you know, Brendon just broke up with his gf Audrey. *evil laugh*)

sincerely drooling,

~Shine

Random rantings

2006-08-28T18:46:00.000+08:00

I watched a couple of movies over the weekend to amuse myself. Aside from keeping myself busy in reading a new book, (Summer Sisters by Judy Blume. It's really good) I watched movies to refrain myself from eating too much. I'm still on a loose weight campaign so yeah. Whether it worked or not, that's for me to know. Hehe.

First up, A Cinderella Story.
starring Hillary Duff and Chad Michael Murray

The stories pretty much like any other high school life themed movie I've watched. It's stil the unknown main character-gets the guy/girl of his/her dreams-and they all live happily ever after storyline. I correctly predicted most of what's going to happen after every scene. My, I must've watched too many teen movies! Lolz! Just like Austin's ex falling for Carter on the party, Carter ending up with someone you'll never expect and so forth. And oh yeah, the land title on the fairy tale book, bwahaha! As for Hillary's acting, I'd say she did well. Although I still don't like her....boo! And me being a Lindsay fan has nothing to do with it, eeek!

I think I've developed a crush for Carter (Dan Byrd). His character on the movie reminded me of someone. Wait, on a second thought, erase that. Hehe!

Next movie: Beyond Borders
starring Angelina Jolie and Clive Owen

Actually my mom chose this one, and to be honest at first I didn't have any interest to watch the film. But after seeing a few parts, I got hooked. Wow, I didn't know that the situation on Sudan and Ethiopia was that bad. Watch the movie and you'll know what I mean. Oh yeah, the movie's a real tear jerker too. My mom cried harder on the ending...hehe! The movie really moved me and thought me the value of life. From appreciating the simple things to what I have. Wow, I am blessed. This movie really taught me a lot and I hope you guys can watch it too. I swear you won't be disappointed. Yes it has some dragging parts but over all, it's a thumbs up.

Happy watching! :D

Coffee Love

2006-08-25T18:44:00.000+08:00

Oops...gotcha!

courtesy of Mirror.co.uk

"Harry Potter stars Emma Watson and Daniel Radcliffe grabbing coffees at Camden's Starbucks in North London..."

it makes me wanna dance the cha-cha-cha. Bwahaha. There's a celebration practically going on in the D/E thread at EW.net. In your face R/E shippers! *evil laugh*

I want a frappe badly....now!

Moving on...daw.

2006-08-22T14:48:00.000+08:00

After all that has happened last week, I finally decided to let myself go. I want to let go of the pain that I feel because of loving someone on my own. Maybe it's true after all, that the heart can grow tired of loving. I'm doing this for myself and for him as well. Since all of my efforts end up in vain, I think it's time to learn to love again. I guess he wasn't worth it after all.

Someone told me the other day that I shouldn't be afraid to love again, even though it hurts because God is loving others through me and it really shocked me 'coz I haven't told about this to anyone. I guess it's God's answer to my question. I mustn't be like this all the time, besides this is getting unhealthy. We all have to make painful choices sometimes but it's for the best. I just have to move on.

You can only have one first love in your life. I am glad that he was it. But that doesn't mean that he'll be the only one that my heart will ever love. I must love again. It may take a lot of time, but I'll take it slow day by day. Someday when I'll look back on this day, I'll be glad that I've let him go. But I do know that the love I have for him won't go away, yes it will lessen but once you've loved someone you'll love him forever. So far I'm doing fine. I hope I can move on in time. Oh yeah, I'm trying to loose weight too...harhar!

"Even if you mean the whole damn world to me,
I can forget you...wait and see.
I can be strong even without you.
I can't waste my life forever hoping
you'd come back to me,
But deep inside I know I'll be waiting here for you..."

On the edge of boredom...and writer's block.

2006-08-19T10:12:00.000+08:00

Talk about boredom. Argh, the picture says it all. That's me trying to figure out what to update on my fic. Now it's doomed to be left behind, (all my readers shout "noooo!") but heck I'll figure some way out of this. I've got to post an update sooner or later. On the lighter side of things, classroom activities doing well in my favor. Much more in English were we're supposed to get up and deliver an extemporaneous speech. I wasn't worried, (well maybe just a bit) for I have experieneced that before. Besides, I have a rhinoceros' face skin. Lolz.

But I accidentally blurted out my undying affection for our Anatomy professor that I have a crush on. Okay, I'll post an excerpt of my speech here for you to understand:

"Love can be many things, it's meaning changes for every person. But for me, Love is a feeling you feel when you have a feeling you haven't felt before..."

(my fellow classmates applauded and I continued...)

"...but most of all, Love is __________. Thank you." (I dare not post his name here)

See? So by now I've humiliated myself to the next century. Haha, at least I got the highest grade. It pays to be honest, hehe. And I'm the center of jokes now, especially during Anatomy class. But my dumb ass prof still doesn't have a clue. Jerk. Buti nalang cute ka...eeek! They call me "Miss Extemporaneous" now. So much for keeping a low profile in college. I hope they won't put that in our yearbook....dear Lord no.

I'm bored. *sigh*

Pinoy and lovin it...

2006-08-07T17:07:00.000+08:00

Filipino, Filipino, Filipino, Filipino
Bebo bebot, be bebo bebot, be bebo bebot
Ikaw ang aking...

-Bebot by BEP

Have you ever hated your nationality? Hah, I have. Countless of times even. Sometimes I just look into the mirror and suddenly hate the color of my skin, my black hair and my non-aqualine nose (wait, is there such a word?). But these past few days, when I really thought about it, heck I'm proud of what I am. I'll give you some of the reasons:

1. 'Coz Nicole of PCD is Filipina.
2. APL de AP of the BEP is one too.
3. And so are Camille Velasco, Jasmine Trias, Mutya of Sugababes, Mig Ayesa... (do you really want to continue? It can take us all day)
4. 'Coz ALL STARS won the World Hip-hop Championships
5. 'Coz Rob Schneider makes me laugh my ass off
6. Julio Englesias is hot. (uhmm, does this even qualify?)
7. I love balut.
8. Chicken adobo's like no other
9. 'Coz you can find Filipinos on any part of the globe
10. WE KICK ASS.

To show you, here's a clip of the award-winning performance of the Phil. All Stars last July 30 at Redondo Beach, CA. Warning: It's absolutely effing good!

Pare, tumaas balahibo ko nung pinapannod ko 'to. Panalo!

Now... asan na ang mga 'bebots'?

More patriotic posts to come your way...soon.

New look, new start

2006-08-07T16:52:00.000+08:00

mood: patriotic
currently listening to: Bebot by BEP (yeah!)

As you have noticed, the background has changed. (woot woot!) I felt my blog needed a new look, so I looked for a Harry wallie to give my blog a new flava as you may put it. I know, it's not my hubby Draco there but I think he won't mind Harry being in the background for now. Besides, Draco on vacation and I heard that he's with Pansy at the moment. What better way to get back at him than to play with good 'ol Harry for awhile? Bwahaha. Brilliant.

I haven't posted any new entries 'coz I've been very busy this past week. So much has happened that I totally forgot what I was supposed to post now, ain't it great? Haha. Oh well...new rant comin up!

(besides, Harry looks way better on my blog. Sorry Draco hunny. :P )

Not Meant To Be?!

2006-07-18T14:44:00.000+08:00

see? I told ya. On the other pic above too...haha!

Want more pics? Go to this link here:

Bloom 'n Knightley

Squeeeful much?

Finally...

2006-07-18T14:33:00.000+08:00

This is what my phone looks like, my friends were right after all, it's a Razr alright hehe! I saw the other colors available and eeeek I wish my mom got me the pink one instead! Or the black one even...hmf. I'm stuck with the gray one. I don't like the color much but I guess I might as well stick with it.

One problem though, it's not user-friendly! I still can't figure some of the keys right! Sending pics by bluetooth for example, it took me a week to get it right! Sheeesshh! Oh well, at least I finally got a new phone....yihee!

The Ultimate Showdown

2006-07-17T09:52:00.000+08:00

Phew, whatta week! No to mention that our prelim exams are coming up! Oh no! No more internet for a while...huhu. Oh well, but at least I have a new phone, wohoooo! Finally, after a century of waiting I finally got a camera phone, bwahaha! I forgot it's model but it's a Motorola one and it flips when you open it. I dunno, they say it a V-something or a Razor, ah whatever. As long as it has a cam, that's fine with me.

Let me ask you a question: It it okay to like someone who's actually gay?

Eeeek, let me rephrase that : It is okay to like someone who's bisexual? Bwahaha. I dunno, it's just that a friend of mine (since high school) is way too yummy to be a bi. He's open about it, but only a few know about his real sexuality. When you look at him, he's a hottie. But when he starts to speak up, you'll run away...seriously. A lot of girls like him without knowing his *ehem* other side. But I guess he'll do just fine for me...hahaha! Asa pa eh!

Darn, I can't resist looking at him everytime we hang out with friends. Duh, I even have a pic of him with me on my phone. My mom was worried (she was thinking the unthinkable) but got relieved when I said, "Ma don't worry. Hindi kami talo!" She almost fell off the chair. Bwahaha!
Oh well, I guess I just to accept the truth that he's gay and I'm straight. Dream on baby...

For all the Korean fangirls out there, answer this truthfully. And here's the catch, CHOOSE ONLY ONE! Haha! Let the showdown begin!

Rain or S7even?

Daniel or Dennis?

Min-woo or Dong-wook?

This one is specially made for Meyms:

Hyun-bin or Ji-hoon?

Hard to decide huh? Don't remind me...hahaha!

JK singing? Huh?

2006-07-10T13:27:00.000+08:00

Apparently, it's just recently that I've found out at this clip by incident. Am I too far behind? Mauwy, of course maybe by now you have already seen this. This just knocked the daylights outta me! JunKi singing? Waaaah! I could dance all day long!

I know this blog has a bg music so if you'll view this clip, sorry for the inconvenience. Hehe.

Oh daft, he has a cute singing voice! Well, it's not exactly Jaejoong material but it can pass! Eeeee!

Taking a breather...

2006-07-10T12:46:00.000+08:00

Okay, since everyone's getting the Junki bug nowadays, I think I'll reconstruct my blog. Just for a while though, until I get tired of Junki...wek! I already requested a friend to change the lay-out and template for me. I said I wanted a Lee Junki overload on my blog. Then, maybe after a month or so, I'll go back to mu hubby Draco. He's on vacation, so I figure'd I'll do the same. Bwahaha.

I do hope she'll make my request soon. Acck! I'm crazy over Jun-ki these days. My sister started it all, and I think I'm much more crazier then her now. Oh, here's another eye candy for all the fan girls. Vanness and Kangta... *drools*

hey, two oppas are better than one. harhar.

This Blog is currently undergoing identity crisis.

East or West?

Draco or Jun-ki?

Hmmm....Coming Soon.

The Easiest Way to Die

2006-07-08T19:46:00.000+08:00

Three steps to die easily:

1. Drink a lot and you'll die 10 years earlier.

2. Smoke cigar and you'll die 30 years earlier.

3. LOVE SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T LOVE YOU BACK AND YOU'LL DIE EVERDAY.

*Made sense right? So in short, I'm already dead.*

Huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Invictus

2006-07-08T18:49:00.000+08:00

Gosh, this week have been both a great and a terrible one for me. One, my former adviser in high school (and Math teacher to boot) died from kidney complications. Sir Solidarios (or Sir Solid to his students) died on Wednesday morning. The whole school was devastated on the loss of such a great teacher. I have so many great memories of my Junior year in high school and some of them I owe to Sir. He was really funny, especially in class discussions. And even if I wasn't very good in Math, I enjoyed it anyway. I can't even believe that he has already passed away. It didn't seem real. Or maybe, I just cannot accept it yet.

Early this year, I was already informed of his critical condition. When he was admitted in the hospital's ICU I even visited him. I was amazed that even if he was on a 50/50 stage at that time and that he was just breathing through a respirator, he didn't seem defeated. In fact, when I was about to cry, he touched my hand and signalled that I shouldn't, because he can take the pain. He was trying to be strong for all of us, especially for his family. Then about a month ago, I learned that he was discharged from the hospital and has already undergone dialysis. Heck, I thought he was fine. So I was suprised to learn of his death. I will really miss him. *sniff*

On the lighter side of things, I seem to be developing a HUGE crush for my Anatomy professor (waaah!). He's not the old type, okay? In fact, he's a fresh Nursing graduate who was formerly a Physical Therapist. So I can say he's just about 20 something. He's just the cutest thing, not too mention awfully smart too. Almost every girl in our class likes him for pete's sake! I can almost faint everytime he smiles...haaay! JONATHAN akin ka nalang! Bwahaha! Thank god I got sorted to section C! Eeeccccckkk!

Oh yeah, Invictus is a latin word meaning 'unconquered'. That's how I feel at the moment. Maureen, mind if I use Jun-ki's pic? Hehe, feel ko lang. Sssssh....kami na. JOKE! Harhar!

Hay, whatta week!

Yipee!

2006-07-04T16:28:00.000+08:00

mood: accomplished

Last sunday, the world stopped for the Filipinos. Why? All were glued to their tv sets waiting for Pacquiao and Larios' fight. I had noi choice coz my dad was a big fan so might as well sit there and watch the whole thing. Round three scared me most. I really thought Manny's a goner. But when round 7 came, hah I knew he's gonna win. Too bad for Larios. That's what you get from too much bragging. I can't wait for November, there's a rematch between Pacquiao and Morales again. I can't let that pass by. Mabuhay ang Pilipinas!

Oh well, gotta go back to updating my fic. I got really good comments as EW.net.
Yipeee! indeed.

I want...

2006-06-28T16:25:00.000+08:00

...Jae-joong, errr I mean coffee. Hehe.

Super

2006-06-28T15:45:00.000+08:00

mood: working
listening to: Dance Dance by Fall Out Boy

It's the opening day for Superman Returns starring Kate Bosworth (Orlando Bloom's gf) and Brandon Brouth. Too bad I don't have any money to watch it. Oh bummer. I spent all my money for my Nursing Manual which cost me a whooping 450 bucks. Wtf? Oh well... too bad for me. Meyms, have fun watching the movie. Just fill me in on the details, hehe! I hope I'll get to watch the movie soon too!

On the other hand, I already caught a glimpse of Spiderman 3's trailer! The movie's release will some time next year but the producers already released a preview to keep fans on the edge of their seats. I absolutely love the trailer! The Venom's about to come out of the next sequel so it's really a must see. I also can't wait to see Tobey again. *squee*.

I'm busy updating my fic. My readers are harassing me already coz I haven't posted any update for a month now. Ooopps! Better get back to work. I'm not feeling well today, I think I'm coming down with a flu or something. I sound horrible voice too. *cough*.

I wish money grew on trees... *sigh*

As promised

2006-06-26T11:36:00.000+08:00

Fall All Over Again
by Dan Hill

Can’t believe we met like this
Is it just coincidence?
I had a feeling I’ll be seeing you again
You’re every bit as beautiful
As the last time we met
When you told me you were leaving
And going back to him

How I wish that I could tell you
It’s all in the past
That I was never good at lying
And baby since you ask

I don’t wanna hear that song again
From the night we first met
I don’t wanna hear you whispering
Things I’d rather forget
I don’t wanna look into your eyes
Coz you know what happens next
We’ll be making love and then
I’ll fall all over again

Can’t begin to tell you
Just how, sorry I am
That the man you built your
Dreams around just broke your heart again
I think I know the feeling
Coz I once loved you so much
And I swore I’d rather die or
Live a day without your touch

If I held you in my arms
You’ll know I’ll never let you go
But this ain’t the time or place
To get emotional

Coda:

How you're crying when you kiss me
When you waked out that door
You were always such a mystery
I still dream we're making love
Then I stop myself because

----------------------

Huwaaaaaah! =(

Falling all over again

2006-06-26T10:50:00.000+08:00

mood: thoughtful
listening to: Bad Guy by Rain

I got bored yesterday, so I made a video slideshow of my classmates and I and posted it at their friendster accounts. Hope they like it though. It took me two agonizing hours to make. Yeah yeah I know, I'm such a nice friend. Haha!

I'm totally bobbing my head to Bi's song. Haha.

Oh a new Korean Bimbap House opened near our school last week. I'm so excited of actually eating there. Maybe soon. If I save enough money. Or if Meyms will treat me to it. *wink*

Last night, I was listening to the radio before going to sleep and I heard Dan Hill's Fall All Over Again and then I remembered a certain loveteam I totally have gone gaga before and then I also remembered you Meyms! Haha! You were singing this song at one of our McDo escapades before, remember? I don't wanna hear that song again on the night that we first met...
Aww! Sapol na sapol! I'll post the lyrics later.

And yeah, while browsing my friends list as Friendster I saw my *ehem* former crush's (former daw oh) new pics. I got intrigued so I checked them out. OMG. Meyms, if I would just cut my hair a little shorter then have bangs we would have the same hairstyle. Bwahaha! Mas maganda pa ang hair nya saken! Da bah!

I just hope he won't see my blog. Or else. Haha! Meyms, here's a pic:

Model na model di bah? He even has pics of him having a slight resemblance to Jun-ki. Anak ng tokwa. Haha! Mas maganda pa siya saken! Kainis! haha. Meyms, we have to go out again soon. I'm missing you already. Just to let you know, I'm free on Mondays and Wednesdays. Wek.

Rawr.

Yin and Yang

2006-06-24T18:23:00.000+08:00

I'm not the boastful type. Really I'm not. But this time I really have to be honest with you guys and to myself as well. Okay, in our school when you're already a sophomore they sort you out according to your grade average, particularly on the last semester. I was sorted to be in section Charlie, the third section. In our year it's up to section Echo1 which comes after Zulu followed by Alpha1, Bravo1, etc. Well you get the point, right? So I was really nervous the first day I walked into the classroom because I know these guys are really smart and all, maybe even smarter than me. I was really scared of being the stupidest one in the class, because that would be just humiliating right? All the teachers have high expectations from the first three sections because they are consists of the best of the best.

(Okay, just a little clarification. I don't consider myself smart. Not really. Maybe it just so happens that I can memorize things quick. But I forget them easily. Hehe.)

But it seems that things aren't what they seem afterall. We had this reading exercise just this afternoon in our English3 subject. We were given some terms to read correctly. But what the heck? I was the only one who knew how to read the word 'annihilation' correctly! The same goes for 'facade', 'attache' , 'connoisseur', and I a whole lot of others too! Huh? What's totally wrong in this picture?

(I don't mean to sound proud.)

But, it's okay. Indi pa ko? Di bala Meyms? I was worried in the possibility of being sorted into Alpha before because the Clinical instructors would really be strict. As a matter of fact, some friends of mine in section A were complaining of the C.I.'s treatment. Too many tests. Harhar.

It's guess it's a blessing afterall. Thank God.

Okay, since Jun-ki oppa's already taken I'll now put a copyright on my last oppa left. KIM JAEJOONG of TVXQ is now officially MINE! Bwahaha! Sa wakas! *fireworks*

I won't settle for "paa" anymore, haha!

Stupid

2006-06-23T12:17:00.000+08:00

mood: tired

Just dropped by to share this quote I've read from a local mag the other day:

"The stupidest mistake in life is falling in-love with someone you know can never be yours..."

Ain't that the awful truth? Haha, guess who can relate? Rawr! Aspirin please! By the way, Meyms how nice of you to drop by. Mimay de pon! Hehe.

Cheers!

I love him!

2006-06-21T14:56:00.000+08:00

I've just realized that I haven't posted here since April! Hahaha! That long. Anyway, I don't have anything interesting topic in mind now so I'll just post the pic of my grand Korean oppa, Joo Ji Hoon aka Shin in the Korean series Princess Hours/Goong/Palace/The Imperial Family. I hope Ji Sung (my fisrt Korean love) and Daniel Henney won't get mad. Hahaha! JJH may not be the most handsome Korean male celebrity but I don't know... I just love him. Waaaaah! Btw, I think Lee Dong Wook is the most handsome! Damn him! Hehe! Btw Shine, Jun-Ki looks adorable!

You can look but you can't own him. He's MINE! Haha!

Money today, gone later

2006-06-20T16:33:00.000+08:00

mood: huh?!
currently listening to: First Love by Utada Hikaru

It's funny. Everytime I get hold of a certain sum of money, it usually ends up being spent afterwards. Where do they go? Internet cafes, McDonalds, malls, the school bookstore, or to the xerox copier for all my hand-outs. Damn professors. I spent my computer surfing time to editing my blog and myspace profile. I got hooked. I wasn't satisfied so I kept on editing them. Hehe. Usually, in high school my major problem was about getting high grades. Now in college, my major problem is money. My allowance is just not enough for all my expenses! Jeez! All the prices have gone sky-rocket while the amount of my allowance stayed the same. Justice I tell ya!

On the lighter side of things, that Lee Jun-ki pic just made my day. *blush* Gaaah! He's just the cutest!

'Til here then. I still have to study. *curses*

Ciao!

Aacckk!

2006-06-19T13:45:00.000+08:00

Lookie there! haha OMG! TVXQ caught on cam watching a game between South Korea and France in the World Cup Playoff Series! Wawawa! Here's the scoop:

TVXQ has official made their 3 second debut on world wide TV! If any of you out there who were paying attention to the South Korea vs. France game, you would have seen a glimpse of the boys. You will see them right before the rooster is shown during the France National Theme playing, "The Marseillaise". Jaejoong is wearing devil horns, Yoochun is wearing a red cap, Yunho and Changmin are both holding a camera, and the biggest soccer fan out of the five, Junsu. We, DBShinGi and all fans, hope that Junsu had a wonderful time watching both his country and his favorite player, Therry Henry, who is part of the French soccer team, play against one another. -DBShinGi.com

My Jaejong oppa is wearing horns? nyahaha! Now that's what I call horny! nyak!

By the way, I just saw the guy I was infatuated with back in high school. He used to hold hands and sweet talk me (he sits beside me) so for yeah I guess that's why I liked him back then. He's still as cute as ever but his current girlfriend happens to be some girl I hate way back in elementary. Hmf. He waved back at me though, which kinda made my day... *cough*

Ooh, la la!

2006-06-19T10:31:00.000+08:00

mood: in-love?
currently listening to: Happy by Saving Jane

My friends say that my eyes have the amazing ability to spot a hot campus cutie within seconds, just after seeing them pass by me from the corner of my eye. You see, I have this habit of stopping dead on my tracks everytime a cute guy passes by or I'll call my friend's attention to look at the guy. In our dialect, they would say, "Wow abtik mata mo Shine bah!" (Wow, your eyes are really quick Shine). Hey, what can I do? I just love to stare and appreciate God's wonderful and beautiful creations, haha!

Speaking of "love", I've been having these dreams of my best friend for a week now. I feel guilty 'coz I suddenly stopped texting and seeing him since last month. I bumped into his grandma (which I call 'mama') and she inquired me about it. I just shrugged off and lied about being too busy these days. Huwaaah, I feel awful. Maybe I should just tell it straight to him. I love you, you moron! Darn it...

What the heck?! Paris Hilton has a new single? The girl can sing? What?! Haha actually I heard the song earlier. Good grief, she sounds like Gwen Stefani! And I hate to admit but the song's kinda good. Talk about surprises...

I guess I'll go back to my reading. I have become a bookworm all of a sudden.

A new fanfic is on it's way. Hurrah!

Shoot, I forgot!

2006-06-14T12:48:00.000+08:00

Happy (belated) Birthday Draco!

I know it's late, (his bday's last JUNE 5) but hey better late than never!

So Draco, what would you like this year? Me perhaps? Lolz!

Of Love and Hate

2006-06-14T10:32:00.000+08:00

mood: tired
currently listening to : I Write Sins Not Tragedies by P!ATD

What have I been doing these past weeks? Well to start off, my mom arrived last week causing me to temporarily stop going online and spend more "quality time" *cough* with her. All was well until I hear her go gaga everytime she sees the chores come undone. Hey, what can I do? I can be such a couch potato at times and besides, it's SUMMER for pete's sake! I'm supposed to be resting! *earth to mom*.

I got my hair trimmed. I got tired of my old hairstyle. Besides, my old hair made me look fatter. Hmph.

School started yesterday. I'm in my second year now. Damn it. I wish I was back in my first year. My schedule's a mess! I don't have a vacant time anymore! No more malling for me. *sniff* What's worse, the subjects are getting more complicated now. I thought the first year was tough, but man it's tougher being a sophomore. I hate this. Damn school too. They won't f*ucking allow high-heeled shoes. Come on, I already bought one! What do I do with it? Throw it away?! Shit.

Okay, talk about swearing there. I love blogging, I can swear here all I want. Harhar. Gee, after that I feel loads better. Maybe I would do this often from now on...

Winglin's up and running again, yipeee! I guess I'm back to writing fics now. *and all my readers say amen*

I saw my best friend the other day. I had butterflies in my stomach. Damn it. This is getting unhealthy.

I made more changes in my "fave" section. As you can see, I'm currently reading Castles by Julie Garwood. I just love her romance novels. This is the 5th time that I'll be reading this book.

Wish me luck on my second year. Starting tomorrow, my life's gonna be hell.

I wished I just followed my desire to take up MassComm than listening to my dad's "dream" for me. Hell, I never wanted of being a nurse anyway. Seeing blood makes me squirm. I'd rather take a pencil and paper in my hand and write away rather than hold a injection and stick it into someone's arse. Stupid decision. Stupid me.

Oh f*ck, I'm depressed and I'm a mess. Call 911.

I hate my life. Can I have yours? Bwahaha

P*ssed

2006-05-26T13:19:00.000+08:00

mood: crappy (go away)

Winglin has been down this past week and I'm afraid that I must say goodbye to all my fics there coz there's a big chance of the site being gone forever. Darn site! They better do something about it or else!

On the lighter side of things, I have found many squeee-worthy sites while surfing. They are H/Hr sites. If interested, click on the newly posted links on the links section. My fave has to be Team Voldemort, a site for us depressed H/Hr shippers. Check them out.

Grrr, I feel like poking someone's eye out.

I hate my life.

JKR must die. Harhar *evil laugh*

The Code

2006-05-22T14:15:00.000+08:00

Okay, so I've watched DaVinci Code. I've actually read it as well. I read the book in secret to be exact, so that I wouldn't get into any trouble for doing so. My father is a pastor you see, and I was raised in a strong christian family and my dad really means it. Since I was young, I was raised to believe about Jesus' life according to the Bible and after reading the book and watching the movie, ironically I still do believe what they taught me to believe.

Why?

Okay, so Dan Brown claims that there is actually a sect called 'Priory of Sion' who are the keepers of the secret that is said to destroy the foundations of the church because they claim that Jesus indeed had a wife in the person of Mary Magdalene and had a daughter named Sarah. The Priory protects the bloodline up to this day and is believed to have the secret location of Mary Magdalene's tomb.

Big deal.

First of all, the book is fictional. Dan Brown said that many times. It's true that reality mirrors fiction and fiction mirrors reality but Brown said that he wrote the book because he wanted to release the 'other' side of the story. If you lost your faith by reading the book, then it only shows that you do not have a strong foundation at all.

Second, would it affect your faith in God if Jesus indeed had a wife and daughter? Would it tarnish his divinity? Isn't it enough that He died for you and me?

Third, we believe in what we choose to believe in. As Langdon said, "What matters most is what you choose to believe in..." and I choose to believe in what I already believe in. I believe in Jesus, that He died for the sins of man and lived a life that is pleasing to God. Whether the claims of the book is true or not, it's up to us to decide in which side you believe in.

In this world, nothing is sure to be true. Lies are everywhere and we sometimes fall for what may seem to be true. Only one thing is for sure though, only God and God alone can know the truth.

May the truth set us all free.

To God be the Glory.

As promised...

2006-04-05T08:34:00.000+08:00

Hiyaaa Shine!
I promised you a post last night and here it is! Enjoy! ;)

Revelation...

I looked up the sky so blue
And suddenly I think of you
The wind blows right into my face
And I dreamed of me in your warm embrace
We walked together side by side
We open up to each other and no longer hide
You tell me your thoughts and I tell you mine
I looked at you so caring and kind
Then you tell me about this girl
Who made your head spin and whirl
You tell me about her hand you long to touch
You tell me you never loved someone that much
I started to pull way, farther and farther day by day
I tried to keep you out of my mind
And look ahead instead of behind
Just when I start to mend the wounds in my heart
You came to me with a brand new start
You asked me what happened, what you said and when
But I refused to talk and be hurt again
So I told you to return to your girl
Who made your head spin and whirl
You touched my face so lovingly and true
Then whispered in my ear…
“THAT GIRL IS YOU...”

The *F word

2006-03-25T17:39:00.000+08:00

Hey, long tym no post! Argh, I've been super busy these past month that's why I wasn't able to update my blog. Forgive me for the delays...but I'll make it up to you guys by posting today cause I'm finally free!

Which brings us to the first 'F' word :

FREE

Our second semester is finally over! Yehey! No more exams and a big "hello" to our break! Hurrah! We only have a short period alloted for our vacation because we have to continue by having our summer classes. *Sigh* no more beach escapades for me then.

FANFIC

Yep, I have a new fanfic. This time I'm doing H/Hr. It's my first feeble attempt so I'm very nervous. I'm not promising anything though, since I'm not very good at writing. It's just a hobby I guess. But I hope you guys can check it out and give a comment on it. It would make me glad.

FIRST

For the first time, my long time bestfriend (I won't say his name here) contacted me. So okay we exchanged a few texts and I thought that was it since he was not the thoughtful type and before it was usually me who texts him first or makes the first move to contact him. But hell, I was surprised when he actually called at 12am to say hi and left off from where we missed out. WTF?! Was he the same guy I knew years ago? Damn, he really is a changed man! bwahaha

F*CK

That's right, its the real F word you know of. I dunno but this past few days everytime I get startled, trip over, do something wrong or just gets nervous I often blurt out that word! Jeez, what's up with me? My sis even reprimanded me because she told me not to be rude. But I can't help it, it's like a reflex or somethin. I should clean my mouth or what?

Scourgify!

lolz!

'til here then. Mwah!

~Shine

Birthday Suprises

2006-02-08T14:45:00.000+08:00

Belated Happy Birthday to me!

Whew the last 3 days has been hell for me. Screw the exams! I think I didn't do too good on Physics. Hmf! So many numbers on the page! Uh-oh, that was Dan's statement too. Mind if I borrow it Dan? Of course you won't...you such a dear. *plants a kiss on his cheeks*

For that I hope Emma won't have to kill me. Hehe.

Speaking of killing somebody, I almost killed one. My bestfriend.

He totally forgot my effing birthday! He never greeted me and then all of a sudden he says he's coming over to my birthday party this Saturday. Wtf?! The nerve! I have to kill him by then...

He better give me a good gift or else...

Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! A new korean series will be shown on ABS-CBN entitled Goong (Palace)! I'm so glad ABS got it! I can't wait for it to air! According to the reviews I've read, it's one heck of a good series! Not only is it good, but the lead actors are so to die for as well! *gasps for air*

It is adapted from a Manhwa (Korean Manga) that is really popular now in Korea. Drum roll please... I give you:

CG: Yoon Eun Hye

Shin: Joo Ji Hoon (I so loooooove him!)

Hyo Rin: Song Ji Hyo

Yul: Kim Jung Hoon (he's my yummy oppa! *faints*)

BEGINNING OF THE FILMING: End of Septermber 2005

BROADCASTING: Jan 16, 2006

TITLE: GOONG [Palace]

GENRE: Romance/ Comedy/ Drama

STATUS: Ongoing (so far: 9 volumes) S

SUMMARY: the prince of Korea suddenly transfered to your school and you overheard him proposing to another girl, how would you react being told you have to marry him?

I was shocked because Eun-hye of BABY V.O.X is playing the lead role! And huwaaaat? Lee Donggun was rejected from playing the lead part of Shin?! It's okay though, at least I get to see my yummy Jo Jihoon! waaaaaaah! Look at this...he is just plain yummy!

and I just died...waah!

Toxic

2006-02-03T16:00:00.000+08:00

mood: tired
listening to: Deep Sorrow by Shinhwa

Hey guys, long time no post! Sorry I've been busy. The exams are nearing and I'm cramming to study all the lessons that covers the exam. I've been too busy to update my fic as well. My readers are now pretty mad I can tell. Lol!

Wow, so much has happened this past few days. Some were a real blow to my fandoms. But as they say, the show must go on. Whatever happens, I'll keep my faith alive.

My 18th birthday is nearing. Hmmm, what can I give to myself? Harhar. A boyfriend perhaps?
haha dream on Shine, dream on!

Hey

2006-01-26T16:02:00.000+08:00

mood: working
listening to: Dirty Little Secret by the All American Rejects

Sorry long time no post...
I've been busy updating my D/E fic...entitled Two Steps Behind. It's my first try to make a D/E fic. Thanks to Scarlett for this amazing banner:

Hope you'll check it out. You can find the link on this blog.
happy reading guys!

hugs!

Naughty

2006-01-23T12:32:00.000+08:00

Found this witty site on the net. It decodes your name to a sexy phrase.
Mine is:

so I'm a seductress now? Haha I thought I was an heiress! Lol!

Try it out on: http://sexy.namedecoder.com

oh yeah a big HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my friend ELDINE! love yah!

Proud to be Pinoy

2006-01-23T12:10:00.000+08:00

January 22, 2006

Time stood still for the Filipinos as they watched the most anticipated rematch of the year. Entitled "THE BATTLE", it was between Erik "El Terrible" Morales and Manny "Pacman" Pacquiao.

Okay, obviously since I'm pinoy, my bet is Pacquiao. The match was aired here in the Phils a little late because of the time difference but I decided to watch it anyway. It was a sunday and we were supposed to go to church, but we didn't! I know I am so baaaaaaad! Forgive me Lord.
My dad, a boxing fan, stayed in the house to watch the whole match. He wouldn't miss it for the world. I was arguing with a group of friends if who among the two will win. But suprisingly, one of my closest friends placed her bet on Morales. I was like "WTF? You're Filipino!" Lolz!

So after much arguing and discussions, the match begun. When the Phil Nat'l Anthem was sung, I couln't help but shed a tear. I dunno, it was just a wonderful moment. I could feel my Filipino spirit burning. Really, I was never a patriot before but that time I felt as if I was. And everytime Manny hits Morales I couldn't help but jump with glee. Every punch he afflicts on Morales was a point for us Filipinos and by winning the fight, he made us proud. He lifted our country's name and brought honor to us all. Truly, Manny is a hero.

I woke up this morning feeling glad that I'm pinoy. Thanks to Manny, I learned to love who I am.

Cheers!

MABUHAY ANG LAHING PINOY!

Can't wait

2006-01-19T13:21:00.000+08:00

Hey! Long time no post. Been busy these past few days. Oh by the way, since I'm such a X-men fan, I can't wait for the third installment to hit the screen! Squeeeee! There's new characters to be shown and I'm so dying to see Hugh Jackman again. Bwahaha.

the official website is: http://www.x3movie.com/ check it out! So awesome!

and oh speaking of new characters, I am so in-love with ANGEL now. Why? The answer is in the pic...

Looks like someone you know of?? hahaha!

Gah I'm so hopeless! I so wanna fly with him right now. By all means, spread your wings and fly!

Cheers!

My Life Rate

2006-01-15T14:51:00.000+08:00

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6.8
Mind:	6.4
Body:	7.5
Spirit:	5.8
Friends/Family:	5.6
Love:	3.1
Finance:	4.8
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

See? I have a low rate on my love life! Bullocks to that! hmp!

Be careful what you wish for

2006-01-15T14:16:00.000+08:00

Just yesterday I learned not to wish about something because it might just come true. Coz it did.

Remember the guy I've been ranting about in Confessions? Well yesterday for no apparent reason I missed him. I'd be a hypocrite if I say no because I do once in a while. I hate and love him at the same time. Argh, so anyway I wished to see him. Even just to catch a glimpse of him. I really concentrated hard. "God can I just see him, for the last time even?" I remember saying that.

Well when almost all hope was lost, I decided to catch the ride home. While waiting for the jeepney to get full I forced the memory of him out of my system. When the jeep was about to go, someone made the last cut. Guess who? HIM. I swear to god I just looked at him mouth wide open! Jeez it was soooo embarrasing! So I forced a smile at him. (don't know how that looked though..don't remind me! haha) and he smiled back. I just don't know how I felt back then. I just remember I can't slap the awful grin off my face! hahaha! So anyways, he asked if I already paid my fare and I replied with a nod. I silently cursed myself why I paid my fare earlier and if I only knew I'll see him then I wouldn't have otherwise. He could've paid it for me. *sigh*

The ride was uncomfortable. I kept stealing glances at him. And the funny thing was he did the same. I can see from the corner of my eye thank you very much. It was very much all glances and no talk whatsoever. We were so uncomfortable with each other's presence. When it was time for me to drop by my stop I said goodbye and he nodded. So that was pretty much it. BORING! Haha! Why do I even bother putting this in my blog anyway? Lolz!

Andy hun be careful, if you wish for it it might just come true. Unless, if you really wanted it. Hehe. Love yah hun!

Cheers!

Confessions of a Broken Heart

2006-01-13T13:02:00.000+08:00

Have you ever been in-love? Ever had that funny feeling everytime you see him? Do you feel your heart drumming against your chest at the glimpse of him? Do you dream of him? Wanting to be near him every chance you get?

Well if you have, then...HAVE YOU EVER BEEN BROKEN HEARTED?

Part of being in-love is getting hurt, really bad. After that nice, happy feeling you get you sometimes have to be hurt. Why? Coz part of loving is getting hurt. I've been hurt not only once, but twice. It's got to be the worst feeling I ever had. Your heart felt as if being teared into tiny little pieces you can't repair and just when you thought that everything will change, the same thing happens again. And then you start to ask "Why?"

You may say I'm stupid falling for the same trap twice. Well, who can blame me? I was in-love. So in-love that I didn't think straight. I became stupid, blind, ignorant. They say love can make you do crazy things and believe me it's true. I did everything for him, even to the extent that I looked stupid. He made me believe that there was hope for "us" to happen...but in the end, left me in the dumpster. Sad? Yeah...and sometimes I stay up all night thinking of how blind I was. If I only did this and that. Well, it's too late for that now isn't it?

There's no point crying over spilled milk. My will can be mended but my heart may never will. *sigh*

Whew!

2006-01-10T16:04:00.000+08:00

mood: super tired

Hey there! I just finished editing myspace. Whew! That was some nasty piece of work! I can't believe I'm still not satisfied yet! Grrrr! I'm so pissed! Oh well...Dan and Em didn't make it to BAFTA. It's ok, their time will come soon enough. And oh btw, Santa didn't hear my freaking wish! It was just so simple!

Santa are you deaf or somethin? Geez!

He better make it up to me this year or else! I'm not a happy little camper at the moment.*back to working mode*

Cheers!

Crackin

2006-01-09T15:07:00.000+08:00

New day...but not much has happened. Our prof didn't show up again (as usual) and I got retainers on. Not much huh? I'm here surfing the net to kill time and I honestly can't rattle my brain on anything to post on my blog. Oh but then again thank God on the heavens! The GOF DVD launch is on April17th! Bloody hell! That's a few days late from Emma's birthday! She'll be 16 already! Go and make your move Dan m'boy! Squeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Im currently surfing Seedy Opium Den, livejournal community for Robert Pattinson fans. I can't help but love the guy. Who can resist those cheekbones? And OMG he plays the guitar and piano! Squeeee! Hotness!

Is he on crack or what? lol!

Right now I'm having a great time chatting with Grace (my friend) on YM. We're drooling on Rob at the moment. Rarrrrrr! Ciao!

Torn

2006-01-07T14:40:00.000+08:00

mood: squeeeful

Well, after a tiring day at school I decided to read a fic...a H/Hr fic to be exact. And from the feedbacks, I decided to read Gill's fic TORN and I tell you it's full of H/Hr goodness! Wah the fic will keep you screaming for more! Raised eyebrows? Yeah, I'm a H/Hr shipper and I'm proud of it. FYI, I also ship Shine/Draco..lol! The fic was very sweet and I love it! The plot was great and it felt as if it was the unofficial book7 of the series! Omg you guys just have to check this one out. Grrr why didn't I read this fic earlier? ANDY I know you also love this fic!

Took a pill,

But can't stand still,

WE NEED YOU GILL!

Andy I love this rhyme you made! Lol! Gill wherever you are pls update soon! Waaah!

(to read the fic, go to EW forums on the Member forums or you can click the link here on my blog. Happy reading!)

Cheers!

Celebration!

2006-01-06T14:37:00.000+08:00

Mood: accomplished

wooot wooot! Great news! I got a high grade on Asian Civilization, Computer, and Ethics. So far I'm doing great on those subjects. On the others I still have no idea on how much did I get but I can tell that I bummed on Physics. No suprise there! :D

I'm humming right now..waaaah! Happy happy happy!

Mrs. Ron Weasley

2006-01-06T13:06:00.000+08:00

I'm not Draco's other woman fyi. Haha! It is Ron that I love but since this is not my blog, I can't change the title to THE MAKINGS OF THE FUTURE MRS. RON WEASLEY. Hehe. Anyway, just take a look at the color of the posts and you'll know who's posting. Shine's using green (Slytherin's color right?) and I'm using white. Not really Hogwarts' color but I'll be using it because it is the default text color. No hassle in changing the color of the text. Hehe.

I'm sick today and I became more sick because of this blog. Had some changes made. I'm thinking about putting Ron's pic at the other side of this page! Wahaha! What do you think Shine?! Nah! This is your blog. Hehe. I think I'll post his pics in my blog... after my Korean oppas! *WINK*

Announcement

2006-01-06T12:36:00.000+08:00

Meyms it was me who sent you that email! Ginhungod ko to yah! Hehe. Thanks for being a contributor here in my blog. I know you love blogging so much and I thought I could let you post here. Thanks again for the nice template. Hugs! Ang pens gali...wala nako ballpen eh. =)

The tag boards were changed. No more naked Draco for you...haha! Thanks for all those who left a message. Love yah!

Cheers!

Hey, what's this?!

2006-01-05T16:20:00.000+08:00

This is not the Slytherin Heiress posting. This is Meyms, her friend. I really don't know what happened but Miss Heiress sent me an invite in my yahoo account and then I clicked the given link and PUFF! Her blog was automatically added in my blogger directory. Hmmn...

Oh well, I love blogging so much. A post or two every other day here won't hurt. Haha! I'm still wondering though... What really happened?! Haha!

Oh, I think I know what happened! I am now one of the contributors of this blog! Hurray! Hehehe!

Goosebumps

2006-01-05T14:55:00.000+08:00

Mood: duh?

I first wanna thank ANDY, PATTY , and MAG for droppin by at the tag boards. Love yah hunnies! hugs!

yeah about the Harry version of the Draco pic by the tag board...I haven't found one yet. Hopefully someone could do a photoshopped Harry version of that one. That would be very nice indeed. *drools*

this is the best I can find..but it gives me goosebumps all over. Actually I'd prefer myself in that pic, kidding! But a Harry/Boy fan that I am, I still like the pic. Although it's a little freaky.

Now I'm feeling...happy? Harhar. And yes I am loving my Hedwigs Theme background song for my blog. Many thanks to my friend Joanne for finding it for me. I'm currently editing my 2nd friendster account and it's gonna be full of Robert Pattinson goodness. Yeah I'm an adulterer. Haha!

Cheers!

Got Braces?

2006-01-05T13:33:00.000+08:00

Mood: working

Got Braces?

Well I wanted to have one but I can't. My teeth are perfectly fine and besides, I don't have the money to have braces. Solution: have retainers instead!

It has the same effect. Well it's just for fun anyway. I just spent half of my allowance for it. Yeah, talk about FUN. And yes, I'm still pissed on how to configure my blog. Maybe I can ask my friend to help me.

Oh yeah, I aced my Asian Civilization exam! I got perfect! Hooray! Pls check out my friendster account as well. My addie is tvfxq_07@yahoo.com.

'til next time then. Take care.

Cheers!

Historical?!

2006-01-04T18:05:00.000+08:00

Mood:

Awww...I just made a new blog. Hoooray! This blog will be a diary of my so-called adventures (and misadventures) and all my non-stop whining and drama sessions.
WARNING: CHEEZY stuff ahead! Lol!
Feel free to comment guys, I'll appreaciate them and rest assured I'll be sending you galleons for what they're worth. Hehe.

That's all for now, gotta go I gotta meet up with a friend at McDonalds. Yeah Slytherin Heiresses don't go on a diet, well that's if hubby Draco doesn't find a reason for me to do so...harhar.

Take care then.
Be careful, ferrets ahead.
Stop. Drop. And Roll.

Cheers!