*Sigh*

*pouts lip* Yeah, I'm sad. Well, for a lot of reasons. First, I screwed up on my midterms grades. Didn't do good either in the return demos...so I sucked big time. I'm feeling kinda low these days, and I think my depression has reached its height as well. I don't feel like eating at all. I feel good when I starve myself and if I eat I feel like throwing up 'coz I feel fat. I am trying to loose some weight but some of my friends say that I'm going overboard by starving myself. Am I still okay? Hmm. My self-esteem deteriorates everyday, and the only thing that could make me feel better is losing some major weight. Gaaah I feel so stupid. What the heck is wrong with me? Is this because of me starving myself that's why I'm doing all this? I don't know what to do anymore! My dad is expecting so much from me, and I'm afraid that I might fail him. He wanted me to be a nurse so bad, and I respected that so I took this course. But now, I'm not happy with what I do anymore. I wanted to do stuff that I couldn't. I feel so alone, empty.

My classmates aren't helping either. They always choose me to do this and that. In fact, I'm up for 3 contests on Wednesday: extemporaneous, oration and verse choir! I'm not super girl here! Gaaaah I'm so pissed at the moment. In fact, I just finished my return demo for Bed Bath a while ago. Don't ask how it went, I might kill somebody in the process. Pssssh. Some important people in my life are going someplace too this week. Which makes me more sadder. *sigh*

First, my mom's returning to Manila. Dunno why the sudden change but she said she had to 'coz of her job. I hate it when mom's not around. I don't have someone to talk to. I'm gonna miss her so much, and I hope she'll keep in touch with us all the time. Dad isn't doing so good in budgeting, so good luck with that. Gee, I can't wait to eat fast food stuff. Yech. Now I have valid reasons not to eat. Lolz!

Jace is going away too. He's moving to LA from San Jose. I'm sad 'coz we won't be able to talk online for a few days because he's taking off his wireless connection for a while. So I won't be able to talk to him then. Hun, if you're reading this I'm gonna miss you lots. Goodluck there! And I ran out of things to say again...gahaha! Do keep in touch babe. =)

*goes back to pouting lips*

darn, I left my RLE notebook at home too. I'm so dead. *sigh*